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  “Mac, this is too much; I can’t accept this,” Nina said looking at him.

  “Not for you, they don’t even compare to how exquisite you are,” Mac answered huskily. “Anytime I see you wearing them, I’ll think they would never compare to you.”

  “That’s very sweet, Mac, but you plan on leaving when Donnie is all safe and tucked away,” she pointed out gently. “You won’t be seeing me to admire these.”

  “We can video-chat,” he said and cupped her cheek. “You can visit, I can visit.”

  She got to her feet and called as she walked to the kitchen. “I told you I don’t do long-distance relationships.”

  “No, you said you wouldn’t move to D.C. So what you’re really saying is that if I leave, it's over? If I want to keep what we have, I need to stay in a place that haunts me with bad memories?” Mac asked, following her.

  Nina whirled to face him. “I never said that. I am not asking you to choose—I’m not even in the equation. I am telling you what I won’t do, and I won’t change my own morals to suit your needs. I cannot be happy flying all over God’s green earth for any man; I am settled here,” Nina narrowed her eyes at him as her anger began to simmer. “I love Northumberland, and while you think that bad memories haunt you, I have seen more people happy to see you home than not. This is your issue; you can try to hide from it or put it to rest, but that’s your decision. But don’t try to weaponize my words.”

  “Nina, I don’t want to lose you,” Mac implored.

  “Nor I you, but the fact that you want to go and I want to stay basically says this is the only Christmas we’ll spend together,” Nina pointed out softly. The thought made her heart ache, and she felt like crying, but it was the truth.

  Mac came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t want us to spend Christmas mad at each other or worrying about the future.”

  She turned in his arms. “I know; I’m sorry I brought it up. It’s an amazing gift, thank you.”

  Nina kissed him, and the desire burned hot and quick. It was almost as if there was a desperation between them, words unsaid and neither one willing to give up ground on what they thought was best. He wanted to go, but Nina would stay where she felt happy and at home. As he speared his tongue into her mouth, she whimpered, not only from the need that pooled wetness between her legs, but from the ache of knowing she would lose him soon and she didn’t know how life would be after that loss.

  It was then she admitted to herself that she had fallen in love with Mac, the man with the scarred knuckles and who rarely smiled. hat thought spurned her on and they slowly moved toward the living room, not willing to break their lips apart. The sun was barely up, but in the dimness of the room the lights of her tree and strung up in the apartment played across their bodies as Mac molded her to him. He groaned and took control of the kiss. His hand was in her thick hair as he sampled her greedily. The passion they had barely contained broke free.

  “I need you, Mac. I need you.” Nina whimpered feverishly, knowing she meant not only his body. She wanted everything, even the parts that seemed to be out of reach.

  She tried to press her body more firmly against his as he roamed his big hands over her body and over the thin material of her pajama shorts and top. The kiss was filled with starved and uncontrolled need, and to Nina at one point it was like they shared one breath.

  “I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you Nina, you make me ache, you are in my thoughts every minute of every day,” his words were a deep growl. He took her hand and pressed it against his thick cock. “Feel what you do to me.”

  Then why are you leaving? her mind screamed. Instead she wrapped her hands around his shaft through his shorts, and Mac groaned in response. He was so thick; recalling the first time, she'd wondered if he would hurt her when he finally entered her pussy. Now she knew they were a perfect fit. They shared more heated kisses, and he sucked on her neck as they fell to the sofa, making Nina gasp. She bit his shoulder. He thrust his hips against her thighs, the action telling her he liked her possessive, sharp love bites.

  Mac pulled away and looked down at Nina, his breathing heavy. “Do you know what you do to me? The thought of not being with you drives me mad.”

  She slipped her hand behind his neck, pulling him to her. “Then don’t think, not right now.”

  Mac’s body pressed her into the soft cushions, and she wrapped her leg around the back of his thighs. There was fire in his kiss, and she was consumed by it. Nina spread her legs farther apart so she could feel his hardness between her legs, hoping to appease the ache. Nina moaned as pleasure infused her body and made her shiver. She could feel the muscles of his back bunch under her fingers through the fabric of his T-shirt. Impatiently she tugged at the hem, and Mac took it off and tossed it aside quickly. Emboldened, Nina used her toes to push at the waist of his pants.

  “Take them off,” he encouraged her with a laugh. “You got those legs high enough, finish the job.”

  She continued the action while he nibbled at her lips, and finally Mac completed the job of removing his shorts. His kisses were softer now, loving, and he teased her mouth, causing her pussy to become slick with arousal. He helped get her naked and then stopped to admire her naked form. He pressed his forehead against Nina’s and for a moment their eyes connected, and no words were needed.

  Nina caressed from his neck to his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I . . .I didn’t expect to meet someone like you when I came home,” Mac admitted. “I almost expect to wake up back in D.C. and you were just a figment of my imagination.”

  She kissed him gently. “I’m not a dream.”

  Nina wanted to say she was his, but, hell he may be gone before long. That fact was a jarring wall between them that brought tears to her eyes. She closed them so Mac wouldn’t see and focused on the building need within her as he trailed kisses across the smooth surface of her neck to her breasts. She shifted restlessly holding back a moan as the heat of his mouth surrounded her nipple. Her pussy clenched in delight at the sensations he created. As Mac groaned, he gave her second breast the same attention.

  The feel of him caused the most decadent and wanton thoughts to course though Nina’s mind. They had not even begun to explore the depth of their sexual relationship, and now he was leaving. She'd never gotten to tell him she liked his hand lightly around her neck or that she wanted to be tied up and open to his exploration. They'd not yet made it to drinking champagne off each other’s bodies. The thoughts combined with his mouth made her body shudder, and as if sensing her growing arousal, Mac’s hands roamed hungrily over her body. Nina lifted her hips against his hand in anticipation when he settled a big palm between her legs. A lone finger slipped between the swollen lips of her labia to caress her slick pussy.

  A low moan of need escaped her lips when he rubbed the pad of his finger against her clit. Without hesitation, Mac slid one long finger inside her again, and this time a cry escaped her. She could feel him watching her, memorizing her every reaction as he penetrated her deliberately with his finger. Mac added a second, and Nina’s head fell back in pleasure, his name an almost keening sound that escaped her lips.

  “You are so fucking tight, even around my finger, it’s like you clutch at me,” he muttered. “Yes baby, spread those sweet thighs wider, that’s it! You want more, don’t you? You want to come hard while I watch?”

  “Oh yes, please, Mac!”

  Everything inside her screamed to be able to come, her hips pumped against his hand until it became almost too much to bear.

  “Wait, Mac, wait, let me catch my breath,” Nina begged, grabbing his wrist, for she was to the point of losing control.

  Nina could feel her own wetness as it ran down to the crease of her ass. He fingered her, moving the digits deeper while his mouth played at her breasts. Her orgasm was like a tightening band that wrapped tighter and tighter until it snapped, and she closed her eyes, relinquishing herself to the ov
erwhelming sensations.

  “I’m going to come, oh fuck, yes!” She dug her heels into the cushions.

  “I love how your body responds,” Mac muttered.

  He used his fingers to manipulate and fuck her until she was drowning in the waves of glorious passion. Nina found her second orgasm with a scream while holding his wrist trying to still his movements. Mac would give her no reprieve while her essence flowed. His lips were on hers, kissing her with a desperate hunger she’d only had a hint of before. The small, sexy sounds she made were muted by his lips. She could feel his hardness probing the entrance to her pussy, and she raised her hips ready to have him inside her. He met her gaze, and she licked her lips, making Mac groan. A low groan emanated from low in his throat as he took her with slow deliberation. The feel of him gliding against the walls of her sex was pure bliss to Nina, and a hiss of gratification escaped her.

  “Stop teasing me,” Nina demanded. “You know what I like.”

  Mac kissed her hard. “Yes, I do.”

  As he said the words, Mac thrust his cock deep inside her and Nina cried out as ecstasy coursed through her. She luxuriated in the feeling of fullness of his engorged rod stretching her. Mac got to his knees on the carpet and turned her so her legs would be around him in that position. He penetrated her again and fucked her with an unrestrained wildness. Sexual sounds escaped them both and combined with the slapping sounds of their lovemaking. He was on his feet again and sat on the sofa and pulled her to him wordlessly. Nina straddled him and moaned when she sank down on his waiting cock. His grip tightened on her hips as she began to move, and Mac only enhanced the pleasure by pulling her down hard against him for deeper penetration.

  Nina gave him a saucy smile and then she bent and plucked his nipple between her teeth. Mac groaned her name as she teased and pinched on his cock and she threw her head back with a soft cry. She succumbed to the need that gripped her entire being and built to frenzied heights. It was Mac’s turn to take her nipple into his mouth, which sent her swirling into an orgasm that made her clutch at his shoulders. He fucked her with a new kind of ferocity, he heels dug into the carpet as he pumped into her as she straddled him on the sofa. She reached back behind her to cup his balls, while she rode his cock, feeling them tighten under her fingers.

  Mac’s guttural cry escaped as he arched his head into the back of the cushions. He buried himself to the hilt inside her wet slit and she felt his come fill her hot and thick. Her name was wrung from his lips as he pumped within her to savor the sweet sensations. Nina collapsed against his chest and could hear her own frantic pants slow and ease as her heart slowed. His calloused hands ran down her back to the dip before he cupped her ass. Mac moved so he was lying on the cushions of the chair and her legs were over his thighs. They met each other’s gaze and said nothing as if they were searching for answers within their depths.

  “I wish we could stay like this forever,” Mac said suddenly.

  “Naked on my chair covered in sweat and . . . glaze,” Nina teased.

  She didn’t want to think about it, the seriousness of her feelings and the loss that was coming. The man she loved would be leaving his new life for the one he'd created in D.C., leaving her firmly in the past.

  “You are a laugh riot,” Mac smiled gently. “You know what I mean.”

  Nina rolled her legs off him and stood, answering brightly. “Let’s not think about it. It's Christmas. I’m going to clean up then you promised you would cook today, so I want a huge breakfast.”

  “I can do that,” Mac’s tone was soft, and she could feel him watching her and refused to look in case she started to cry.

  “Great, see you in five!”

  She made her steps perky as she ran to the bathroom and closed the door. After the water got hot and she stepped under the spray for her shower, Nina let her tears flow. They mixed with the water droplets that coursed down her body.

  “Merry Christmas, Mac, I love you,” she whispered.

  Those were the words that she would never say out loud. Her love wouldn’t be the thing that made any decisions for him, but it seemed Mac had already chosen to leave Northumberland—and her.

  * * * *

  Nina spent the rest of Christmas day pretending that everything was okay as Mac made her meals and they shared the holiday. As they danced to Christmas music, she pressed her face to his shoulders, and he tickled the back of her leg with his argyle covered foot. And then they left; he drove her to work before going to check in at the safe house the next morning. She was completely exhausted, not accustomed to the pretense. Her sleep was troubled, and she had a long shift that day. Boxing Day meant the senior staff got the day off, and nurses like her would be the ones caring for patients in the wards unless some senior staff chose to work. Luckily for her, Melissa chose to work and take the increased pay for a holiday so she would be in the emergency room with someone she knew. Mac dropped her off in front of the hospital fifteen minutes before she was to sign in to work at seven.

  “See you later?” he cupped her cheek and kissed her gently.

  “Depends on when I get out; I work twelve hours, and I may need to take overtime if someone doesn’t come in,” Nina replied. She had already decided to distance herself as best she could so when he left, she was broken-hearted.

  “Call me when you get out, and I’ll pick you up,” Mac said.

  Nina gave a brisk laugh. “Mac, I’ve walked home from the hospital for the last two years—even at midnight, sometimes later. I’ll be fine, it’s not like Jack the Ripper still stalks the streets.”

  He frowned. “Maybe someone worse; please, just call me.”

  She sighed as she gathered her bags. “I will, have a fantastic day.”

  “Why does that sound like eat shit and die,” Mac asked. “What’s wrong, Nina?”

  “Nothing at all,” she said in a bright and cheery voice. Nina pasted a wide, fake smile on her face before kissing him quickly. “I’ve got to run before I get written up for being late.”

  Nina got out of the car and ran toward the entrance since there was a misting drizzle of rain. “Bye!” she heard him call, and she waved her hand before walking through the hospital doors when they whooshed open not even looking back. Inside, she finally took a breath while the clawing ache in her throat to scream in pain and anger faded. She used the glass crosswalk to get to the emergency department and went to the nurses' lounge to put her things away. Melissa was already there, and Nina used the code of her locker to open the metal door.

  “How was your Christmas?” Melissa asked brightly.

  “It was a Christmas,” Nina’s tone was clipped.

  Melissa was putting her hair back in a ponytail. “Uh-oh, piss and vinegar. What’s wrong?”

  Nina bent down to change her shoes. “Nothing, I had a good Christmas. I got Mac a bracelet and socks, and he bought me diamonds.”

  “Well, bother it all, I wish I could complain about diamonds,” her friend closed her locker.

  Nina sat down on the bench. “He’s leaving, and he gives me diamonds.”

  “He’s going back to the U.S.?” Melissa said sympathetically. “I thought since you two were seeing each other—”

  Nina laughed. “You’d think, but he wants me to uproot my life and move to D.C. and start over from scratch in a place where my education and knowledge will not be utilized. And of course, my skin color will make then assume I’m an uneducated immigrant who needs to be micromanaged.”

  Melissa chuckled. “It’s not all like that; we’ve all heard the stories, but there are some fine institutions that would welcome a nurse with your caliber.”

  “Melissa, I don’t want to go through that. I like my life here, this was my first choice when I decided to apply for the nursing program,” Nina explained. “I won’t be happy in that city or, hell, the entire country. I like walking to work and smelling the fresh bread, I like stopping in at the pub to get a drink after work and talking with my friends. I don’t want to g
o to a place where the only person I know is Mackenzie Black.”

  “Then what’s the end game?” Melissa asked.

  “I’m going to start distancing myself,” Nina announced. “When he leaves, I’ll give him a cheery wave of my hand and let him get on with his life.”

  “But you won’t be fine, will you,” Melissa rubbed Nina’s shoulders gently.

  Nina’s voice broke when she spoke. “No, I love him, but I’ll have to manage, won’t I?”

  “Come on,” Melissa pushed her toward the door. “A packed emergency room will take your mind off this relationship scramble.”

  She gave a watery laugh. “Oh, let the fun begin.”

  It was nowhere near fun. Boxing Day was a holiday where more often than not people got drunk and stupid. Mostly young men who never seemed to think, well, this is a bad idea. Nina triaged a fork stuck in the head, broken arms, one leg from a trick gone wrong in the yard. An assortment of deep cuts, bruises from fights, and, of course, concussions. And that was only the adults; it seemed like every child who came in had the flu or a stomach virus. Nina had no doubt if she didn’t take precaution, she would end up sick because children weren’t known for following hygiene orders when they felt cruddy. She was coughed on more than once and almost took a projectile vomit straight to the face when she bent down to talk to one tiny patient.

  She loved helping people, and her job was her calling, but a day like this made her rethink every decision she made. It was nine-thirty when she finally left Queen Charlotte hospital and stepped out into the night. Melissa was going to work straight through until seven in the morning, but with the second shift coming on there were more than enough nurses, so after fourteen hours she was relieved to go home. Nina almost took out her cell phone to call Mac, but wondered why she should. Who will I call when he’s gone? She’d be back to walking home or grabbing a ride with friends if it got too cold or late.

  She certainly didn’t want him picking her up out of some feeling of obligation. I can take care of myself, Nina thought firmly as she pulled her bag over her shoulder and stepped out into the night. She soon found out how wrong she was when lights came around the corner and blinded her as she walked toward the main street of Northumberland. It wasn’t a car but a van—and instead of passing her by, it screeched to a stop. Nina felt the instant danger she was in work though her body as pure fear, and she turned to run. Strong arms grabbed her, and when she opened her mouth to scream a thick hand was placed over her mouth.