A Dragon's Honor Read online

  Hawke was silent for a few minutes before saying, “It could be all lies. He walked off into the barren lands to die. They could have found his body and took the medallion.”

  “But, remember, when the search was conducted, his body was never found,” Raul persisted. “He said they’ve kept him just barely alive. I should find him and find out why he left me—”

  “No!” Hawke barked. “You are not to go off by yourself looking for a man who may no longer be alive. I will not have you put your life on the line for him, not after what he did.”

  “It is my life to do with as I wish, Hawke,” Raul snarled. “I may have been under your tutelage and your ward, but I am a man now and can think for myself, and have been from the time I did my warrior ceremony and the king accepted me in the court.”

  “Yes, but I still outrank you, Raul, and I say your ass stays put until we get there,” Hawke snarled right back but then softened his tone. “At least until we know if this is true. Then, we as twelve, with the king’s approval, will do what we must.”

  “I don’t know how to feel about all of this,” Raul admitted. “The boy in me watching his father walk away still wants to chase after him.”

  “Like you pointed out, the boy is no more. You are a man and a warrior of the court. Our feelings take a back seat to the good of our people,” Hawke reminded him. “I’ll get Lleau and Aki and we’ll be on our way. Daisye is coming as well. She wants to meet Raven in person. Expect us in at least forty eight hours and, Raul, no heroics, no going off on your own.”

  “I understand,” Raul said through his teeth and hung up. He hated being ordered around like a child.

  He got up off the bed and walked to the door, wrenching it open roughly, only to find Raven standing on the other side. He looked at her and took in her appearance. She was wearing a cream-colored knit dress that came to just above her knees. She had on black tights and her feet were bare. Her long dark hair hung just past her shoulders and her face was fresh, beautiful, with no makeup.

  “I was going to knock, but I heard you on the phone,” Raven said.

  “Eavesdropping?” Raul asked.

  He saw anger spark in her cinnamon brown eyes. “I don’t need to spy on your conversation because I could just ask you. I understand you’re upset, but don’t try to take it out on me, Raul. You won’t like the outcome. I’m no shrinking flower; I will go spider monkey on your ass.”

  “Spider monkey? You’ll become a small primate?” Raul chuckled.

  She was amazing when her temper flared. He thought of her completely naked and writhing beneath him, using that fierce temper as fuel for a passionate interlude. She wanted more than he could give—emotions and love—but that didn’t mean he couldn’t dream about the attraction that sparked between them.

  “That’s right. Small, fast and ready to kick ass if necessary,” she snapped and brought his attention back to the present.

  Raul nodded solemnly. “I’ll keep that in mind, but I think I might like seeing you go spider monkey, as you say.”

  Her lips twitched. “Uh-huh. You and many others.”

  She took his hand and walked him over to the sofa that faced the fireplace. She sat and pulled him down beside her. “Now tell me about your father.”

  Raul hesitated. “There’s nothing much to tell.”

  Raven sighed. “Usually people say that when there is a lot to tell. Raul, if anything, consider me your friend. You can talk to me, and I take it from what I heard of your conversations with Hawke, you don’t talk much with anyone about what’s going on inside you.”

  “Emotions and feelings are all useless,” he scoffed.

  “But felt, nonetheless,” Raven said gently. “Talk to me.”

  “Fine,” he grumbled. “My mother died when I was young. I think I was five—much too young to understand the shifter inside me.”

  “What happened to her?” Raven asked.

  Raul looked at her. “You know, I never really knew what happened. I think some of those memories I blocked out because all I can remember is one day she was with me in the kitchen at the hearth and the next she was gone. My father crumpled into himself. The proud man who was one of the twelve warriors became a shell. Hawke came to my home one day, felt the chill in the air, and saw that the fire had not been lit for a long while. I was living off stale bread and whatever I could scrounge up while my father sat staring at nothing.”

  “Oh, Raul, that must have been devastating for a child. That would be like losing both parents,” Raven murmured.

  Raul smiled sadly. “I was adept at climbing trees, so I never went to bed hungry. My belly would be filled with apples and star fruit. Hawke chastised my father, though he barely listened and then he just told Hawke to take the boy, that he had no use for me anyway.” Raven gasped. Raul had no idea why the story was coming out of him like the floodgates of a dam had been opened.

  “Hawke lifted me in his arms and walked towards the court. Over his shoulder I could see my father walking out of the village and I knew he was heading towards the forbidden lands. I wanted to scream at him and yell for him to stop, you will be killed, but somehow I knew even then that that was what he wanted. He wanted to die. Now the Shen abominations say they have him hostage, that they have had him for over fifty years. Which means that as I grew up, he was surviving in the barrens before he was captured. There are so many questions and no answers. Hawke does not want me to go after him on my own. He’s angry at my father still, for finding me uncared for and for him taking the less honorable way out.”

  “But it’s not his decision on how you should feel. I understand he wants to protect you from pain, but maybe this is a way for you to finally put this to rest,” Raven said. “When they come, I’m sure they will help you find your father and settle this once and for all.”

  Raul looked at her. “What if they decide the risk is too great and the Shen are using a hoax to pull us warriors into a trap?”

  “Then you follow your heart; it will never lead you wrong,” Raven replied.

  “I’m not one who listens to my heart. My honor drives me, and not much else,” Raul explained.

  She cupped his cheek. “Then maybe you should start. Your honor is tied directly to your heart, so I think you’ve been listening to only what you want to hear this entire time.”

  Raul pulled her into his arms. “I need to kiss you, to focus on something other than the storm that awaits me.”

  He gave her a chance to refuse, but when she didn’t pull away his head descended and he kissed her deeply. Raven opened her mouth with a soft moan that fueled his ache of need even more. Her tongue tentatively made a foray into his mouth and he twined his with hers encouraging her to taste deeper. When she speared her tongue hungrily into his mouth, Raul growled. In a swift move, he pulled her beneath him on the sofa and pressed his body against hers. Their kiss became ravenous and her fingers dug into the soft fabric of his sweater as they kissed. He wanted to pull his sweater off and feel her nails dig into his skin. He wanted to feast on her, on every part of her body, until she came in his mouth and he was immersed in her essence. He wanted to mate with her forever. A knock on the door broke his thoughts and the pleasure-filled haze around them. Raul intended to ignore it, but the knock became more insistent. Raul cupped her breast through her knit dress and she whimpered, arching into his hand. “Mr. Raul, sir? It’s room service,” the voice called, and he growled his frustration.

  “Raul, you have to answer the door,” she whispered and struggled to move beneath him.

  He pushed himself up and stalked to the door while she sat up and brushed her hair back from her face. She looked sexy and disheveled and Raul wanted to drag the cart in and slam the door in the waiter’s face. Then he would go back and love her hard until they were both limp and sated.

  Raul opened the door a bit harder than he meant to. “Your meal sir,” the waiter said, pushing the cart inside. “We’ll be happy to get you anything else you need. Just cal
l down anytime. The manager requested we bring up this wonderful wine to go with your dinner and fresh fruit to go with dessert.”

  “Thank you,” Raul replied, opening the drawer on the accent table close to the door. He pulled a twenty out and handed it to the waiter who beamed with pleasure before saying his goodbyes and closing the door softly behind him.

  “Thank you for thinking of food. I forgot all about it, but I am hungry,” Raven admitted, moving to the dining table where Raul pushed the cart and took the covered plates off the tray.

  “I am too,” Raul replied, but he didn’t mean for food.

  She met his gaze. “There’s something between us, but I have to follow my heart, Raul. I can’t give into you knowing you can’t commit to me in return.”

  He sighed. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ache for you.”

  “I feel the same way,” she murmured and sat down.

  They ate in silence and Raul fought through his tumultuous thoughts. Raven was his only real anchor through all of this, which he admitted was strange, because he used to be happy on his own, but Raven had somehow firmly affixed herself within him. He wondered if walking away was even an option when all of this was over and she was once again safe. The thought of saying goodbye terrified him, but then these feelings he felt scared him even more. Raul didn’t know what to do. He wanted to love her, but his entire being opposed such an idea.

  Chapter Six

  Raven lay in bed looking up into the darkness. Slivers of moonlight came through the clouds and into the windows, streaking across the ceiling. She was far from sleepy. Her thoughts were on the man in the next room and thinking about him didn’t elicit a drowsy state. Far from it, her body hummed with an energy that could only be described as acute arousal. Her sex throbbed just thinking about his kiss, how hard and lean his body was when he was on top of her, pressing her into the cushions of the sofa. What would it feel like to be naked beneath him and to feel his manhood penetrate her and take her?

  She’d never been with a man, thanks to her strict control not to sink into a relationship that would go nowhere. Did she set her standards too high and would it mean she would never get to experience pleasure? Raul was in the middle of a war and personal turmoil. How could she expect him to be with her and say those words she longed to hear? Raven admitted to herself that she did want Raul. She wanted him to love her and say they would never part. But she was a twenty-three-year-old virgin who wanted a prince charming to sweep her off her feet. Maybe that was a childish hope, a way to gain control of a life that was always on the move. She loved her mother, and had loved the life she was given, seeing new places and being a part of great discoveries from the past, but sometimes Raven had longed to have a bedroom and girlfriends to talk about boys with.

  Her mother never spoke to her of womanhood or puberty. The only reason she wasn’t terrified when her first period started was because she had heard other local girls speaking of what it was. And books, lots of books, taught her about her body and what to expect. By the time it came, she had bought her own tampons from a store in Peru just to be ready. That’s how her whole life had been. She took control of everything because her mother was always busy.

  Raven sat up suddenly. She was not going to walk away from this. In the next bedroom lay a virile man who could morph into a dragon. He told her about a world where there was no hate or famine or war. He was part of a sect of warriors who protected humans selflessly and did not look for recognition. When Raul kissed her, she forgot who she was. She was tired of focusing on her studies. Her body needed to be nurtured as well. She wanted to be loved and made love to. Raul was it for her, and, by God, she was not going to lose out on the only man who made her body sing with pleasure. Of course, there was the problem of him not understanding love. His mother died and his father gave up. He was raised by men who taught him honor and duty, but didn’t explain that love didn’t have to hamper him. It could enhance him and make him a better man. Fighting for honor was one thing, but having love would make him invincible. Raven scrambled out of bed and rushed out of the room. Without even knocking she rushed into the room where Raul lay and climbed up on the bed.

  He sat up and looked at her curiously as she knelt at the foot of his bed. “Raven, what’s wrong?”

  “Okay,” she took a deep breath, “so all my life I’ve been trying to control…well, everything. I love my mom and all she has taught me, but sometimes as a child I longed for a home, you know what I mean? I didn’t have a room or a normal bed, no girlfriends to talk about boys with or go to prom—”

  “Isn’t prom that thing where teenagers go and dance and make out, as you humans say?” Raul asked.

  She hit him on the chest excitedly. “Exactly. I never had any of that. Instead, I focused on school and then more school. I was going to excel in everything my mother did and more. In that time, I forgot about myself and put stipulations on relationships that ended them all. Well, two. I had two relationships that ended.”

  “How did you end them?” Raul asked. “This is all very enlightening, but I fail to see where it’s going.”

  “I’m a virgin, Raul. I’ve never been with a man in a sexual way,” Raven explained. “I controlled that too; I controlled who had my body and I felt no one should unless there was a solid commitment between us. That was my way of seeking some kind of permanence in my life. Then there is you…”

  “Me?”

  Raven sighed. “Yes, you, Raul, who makes me feel so many things with just one kiss. You make my body feel like it is on fire, but then you also make me feel so safe when you hold me in your arms. You swooped out of the sky and crashed through a house to save me. You’ve told me about a world that is outside the one I know. I want to see your home, explore it with you, and find things maybe not even your kind knew was there. But most of all, I want to feel everything your kisses offer. I want to share your bed and hopefully, someday, your heart.”

  “But what if that never happens, Raven? What if I can never say those words you need to hear?” Raul asked softly.

  Raven shrugged. “Then it wasn’t meant to be, but I’m finished with limiting my life so much. I’ll cherish what we share and what you show me for the rest of my life.”

  “I don’t know if I can allow you to settle for less than what you aspire to,” Raul said hesitantly.

  Raven crawled over to him and pressed him back against the pillows. She had no doubt he could stop her if he wanted to, but he lay back willingly like a lion in the sun. His eyes never left hers and his desire was clear on his face. No, he wouldn’t refuse her, because she was not going to deny herself any longer.

  “It’s not yours to decide, Raul, it’s mine, and I want to be loved by you. Make love to me,” she said and pressed her lips against his.

  Raul groaned and rolled her beneath him, taking control of the kiss and her body. Raven succumbed to the pleasure. This was right, so very right in every possible way.

  He lifted his head and said softly, “You are so very beautiful. Do you really want me, Raven?”

  She whipped her nightshirt over her head without hesitation. “Show me everything.”

  Raul didn’t hesitate and took her lips in a wild kiss. Raven moaned as his tongue slipped into her mouth and she could still taste the wine he had at dinner. His hands were so big and the heat of his touch seemed to sink into her skin, down to her bones. He trailed fire everywhere he touched. His caress traced down her leg and then up to her hips before going to her breasts while he ravished her mouth.

  “I want to taste every inch of you,” his voice was low and rough.

  His lips trailed down her jaw and neck to her shoulder and he moaned when Raven’s hand went down to cup him through his boxers. Raul moved her hands away and pinned them above her head. “Not yet, Shaloh, let me pleasure you first.”

  “What does that word mean?” she whispered and gasped as he bit the skin at her neck softly.

  “It’s the language of my people,
a dialect humans could never translate. It simply means my heart,” Raul replied.

  Raven met his gaze which was filled with desire and much more. “But wouldn’t that make you uncomfortable if I were in your heart?”

  “I fear it’s already happened… I—”

  Raven kissed him, silencing his words. “Don’t think about it right now. I don’t want promises, only you.”

  She wasn’t apprehensive or fearful about her first experience with Raul. She was excited at the prospect of being his. He would never hurt her; she knew that for a fact. Her nipple tightened when he rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. She gasped his name when he took the cocoa bean tip into his mouth. Raven arched as he growled and pulled the sensitive nipple and areola into his mouth and sucked deeply. Pleasure flashed through her like a firestorm and settled between her legs. She felt her pussy moisten as need swirled through her.

  Raul stood quickly and stripped his boxers off and stood by the bed. She’d seen him naked a few times, but it never ceased to be a magnificent view. He kneeled on the bed and bent towards her and she clung to his broad shoulders and their lips met. She ran her hands down his chest and stroked the thick, hard length of him. Raul’s hips thrust, mimicking her movements and he groaned into her mouth. Raven concentrated on her task until she felt the dampness of pre-come on her hands.

  “I think I’d like to taste you,” she murmured softly.

  Before she could, he pinned her to the bed and kissed her until her head swam and his frenzied touch brought the fire back, roaring to life inside her. He was heavy, but she loved the feel of him on her. Her hands were free to run down his back, and she grabbed the tight muscles of his ass.

  “Woman, if you keep that up I’ll be inside you before you’re ready,” Raul warned in a low growl.

  “I told you I wanted to feel you against me.” Raven gasped as he pushed her legs apart with his knees and pressed himself against her core.

  “You’re so innocent and wanton at the same time; it’s a heady mix,” Raul muttered. “I must have more of you.”