The Darkest Joy Read online

  Bliss walked the halls of Merry's hospital with a spring in her step. She had spent the entire day with Caim and left a note on her pillow next to him. With a soft kiss, she left him sleeping while she went off to work. The mayhem of the ER did nothing to dampen her mood. She took blood samples with her usual finesse while Amber and the other nurses on call teased her unmercifully about Caim. She took their jokes good-naturedly, because when her shift was over, he would be at her house waiting for her.

  She replayed how he had stood on her doorstep, shivering in the rain with a look of pure agony on his face. What could he be going through? As he fell asleep, Caim had said he needed her to save him from the dark. She didn't know exactly what he meant, but it felt so ominous that hearing what he had to say scared her. But she couldn't not hear him out, because if she could, she would take his burden and make it her own. I love him. I have to help him.

  On her way back to her office, Amber passed her by with an armload of files. She stopped Bliss in the hallway with a big grin on her face. “What are you doing, collecting the men of GQ magazine or something?"

  Bliss gave her a blank expression. “Huh? What are you talking about, crazy woman?"

  "I mean the other hottie that you have sitting in your office waiting for you,” Amber said. “If you want to share this one with me, give him my number."

  Apprehension made butterflies do a dance in her tummy. She didn't know who could possibly be waiting for her, but her instinct told her that it had something to with Caim. Bliss pasted a bright smile on her face. She couldn't let Amber know that something was very wrong. How could she ask for help anyway when she didn't even know what was going on herself?

  "I'll make sure to send all available hotties your way,” Bliss said, teasing her with humor she didn't feel. “I gotta go, sweetie. I'll call you later."

  Bliss hurried down the hallway. She raised her hand to wave when Amber called out her good-byes. Outside her door, she hesitated with her hands on the handle. She took a deep breath and stepped into the room. The man who turned to her was nothing if not magnificent. He turned when Bliss entered the room. The blond hair he had just seemed to capture every piece of light in the room and left it dim. Looking into his eyes was like falling into a pool of blue, and when he smiled, she could almost hear a tinkle as he showed off rows of white teeth. No one man should be this beautiful, Bliss thought. But even as she stared at the hunk in her office, she could feel something about him that made her cringe.

  "Can I help you?” Bliss asked hesitantly.

  "Bliss, isn't it?"

  "Yes, do I know you?"

  "No, but we have a mutual friend in Caim. I'm Belial."

  "That is an unusual name. How do you know Caim?” Bliss walked over to her desk, trying to give Belial a wide berth. He made her uncomfortable, and just being behind her desk where something was between the two of them made her feel safer.

  "Let's just say we work the same place,” Belial replied mildly. He sat in the chair opposite her desk and leaned back casually as if he were meant to be there.

  "So if you guys work together, why are you here?"

  "I wanted to see the woman who was taking his focus away from his job.” Belial's eyes met her directly and made her feel like squirming in her seat. “He's in a lot of trouble, you know."

  "H-he is?” Bliss stammered. She took a deep breath. “Listen, whatever you guys do, I don't want to know, but I want him out. I have some money saved. You can have it. Just leave him be."

  "You are willing to give up all your money just to save him?"

  Bliss could hear the curiosity in Belial's voice, along with something else. His smile reminded her of a shark when it smelled blood in the water.

  "I'd give up a whole lot more for him if I had it,” she said firmly.

  "Would you give up your soul for him?” Belial asked softly.

  The question sent fear through every fiber of her being, and she whispered, “What are you?"

  "Hmm.” Belial closed his eyes and turned his head as if he caught a whiff of a pleasurable scent.

  When he did, Bliss caught a glimpse of his true face, and she knew terror unlike anything she had ever known.

  "Caim and I are the same. But if you want to save him, all you have to do is sign on the dotted line. Give me your soul, Bliss, and set his free."

  "No-No!” Bliss shook her head vehemently, trying to wake herself from the nightmare that was all too real. “He's good and kind, and I can see it in him! I can't see it in you. You are nothing like him!"

  "You can't save him, little girl!” Belial smiled and tried to use a charming smile on her. “But if you sign, my sweet, you can ask for anything in the world, and I will add his soul as a bonus. What do you wish, fame, fortune?"

  "I want nothing from you except for you to get out of my office!” Bliss stood up and pointed to her door. “Leave now!"

  "A hospital is a free zone. I can enter and go as I please,” Belial sneered. “You can't banish me."

  "But my office is my sanctuary, and in the name of the almighty God, I send you away!” Bliss said with conviction in her voice.

  Belial hissed, and Bliss watched him be pulled toward the door as if by an invisible cord to her door.

  "You can't save him, bitch. He belongs to us, and when he comes home, I will make him suffer, and our dark master will make him suffer! Torment for ten thousand years will make your love seem like a drop in the bucket to him!"

  When his backward steps took him to the boundary of her doorway, the door opened on its own. At the threshold, he faded from her view with one last cold stare, and the door was closed once more by some sort of invisible hand. Bliss sank to her chair. Her legs couldn't seem to stop trembling. Her body couldn't seem to stop shaking. Oh my God, oh my God! What was he? What was Caim? She couldn't believe, could she? Demons? Bliss knew she couldn't work after this. She couldn't even function after what happened. There was only one thing she could do. She had to go home and see Caim, to hear the truth of what he was from his lips.

  Bliss picked up the phone and dialed one of the other floors of the hospital. Claiming she was sick, she asked another phlebotomist to cover the ER for her. On the way out, Bliss stifled her irritation at everyone stopping her to ask her why she was leaving early. Stomach flu, she said and tried to stay still to hear them give her all kinds of remedies. Finally, she was at her car and heading home. She wanted to put her foot to the pedal and speed through all of the red lights, but then apprehension filled her core, and she wanted to delay the inevitable as long as possible.

  Her driveway seemed to come up way too soon. The lights of her small patio beckoned and welcomed her home as she pulled in and turned off her car. She sat there for a few minutes, trying to compose herself, but then fear caused her to move quickly. What if Belial was still out there stalking her from the dark? That thought sent her racing to the front door and unlocking it with trembling fingers. Caim stood at the far window looking out into her side yard. He seemed focused on watching the leaves fall from the tree to coat the ground in a blanket of color. He turned when he heard her close the door. The smile of greeting that was on his lips faded when he saw her face.

  "What are you, Caim?” Bliss asked softly. She put her bag on the table next to he door and walked to the center of the room. “What are you!"

  "Bliss, I-I...” Caim sighed and stood in front of her. He let his forehead touch hers, and his gaze met her tear-filled eyes. “I can't just tell you, my love. I have to show you, okay?"

  Bliss nodded and closed her eyes. Instantly, she felt the sun on her face. Slowly, she lifted her lids, and instead of her living room, she was standing on top of a mountain. Around her, she could hear the call of birds, and when she looked down, the tops of trees were like a carpet in the sky. She was on a mountain in the middle of a rain forest. The breeze carried the smell of vegetation and exotic flowers. Bliss's eyes widened with incredulity as she looked around at the beauty around her.

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sp; "The natives call this Deus Janela, the window of God,” Caim said quietly. Bliss turned from the exquisiteness around her to stare at him silently. He continued talking as he walked closer to the edge. “I feel closer to home here, as if I could reach out and touch heaven. It's like it is so high that I can feel it and talk to them even though they don't hear me anymore."

  "What do you mean, Caim?” Bliss asked. She hesitated coming closer to him.

  "Long ago, I was one of them.” Caim's voice was subdued.

  "One of who, Caim?” Bliss shouted in exasperation.

  "I was an angel in the high courts of heaven before I was cast out over a thousand years ago,” Caim explained. “I sinned, and for that, I was sent to hell. I became a fallen one."

  "A demon.” Bliss gasped and stepped away from him. Her mind tried to grasp but was unable to believe what she was hearing. “Belial said you were the same!"

  "When did you see him?” Caim asked urgently. “What did he say?"

  "He tried to get me to sign away my soul to save you. He said it was the only way. He said you worked together!” Bliss cried out and turned away.

  "Bliss, we are nothing alike! Caim took her by the shoulder and forced her to face him. “He was created in hell, a demon spawn. I retain my soul, except there I have to fight so hard not to be corrupted. I am nothing like him, and I never will be!"

  Bliss could see the sincerity of his words on his face. She needed to know it all. “How did you fall from grace?"

  "Long ago, when the world was still young, I saw an injustice that I thought should have been punished, a woman stoned for her convictions and her faith in the Almighty. I begged the Father not to let it happen, but he said it must be done for the world to understand.” Caim turned his face away from Bliss in shame. She reached up her hands and cupped his cheek, bringing his face back to hers. “My heart filled with vengeance, and day after day, it got worse until I could no longer stand it. I took my vengeance against those who stoned her. I took their lives, and for that, I was cast out."

  "But why? Everyone should be allowed forgiveness."

  "I was granted my forgiveness, but I could no longer live in heaven. You see, I was a pure creation, a being made by God's hands. For my sin, I was punished to a thousand years in service to Lucifer. This is the last year, tomorrow is the last day, and you are my salvation."

  Bliss shook her head. This was so much to take in all at once. “How can I be your salvation, Caim?"

  "I fell from heaven, and after a thousand years, I can fall once more, leave the realm of angels and demons and become human. You have to be there to catch me when I fall, Bliss, to save me from eternal death."

  "Catch you how? Do I stand under a tree and hold out my hands?"

  Caim smiled gently. “No, my love, when I fall, I will be leaving my immortality behind. I will be human, hurt, and on the precipice of death. Your love, your heart, and your voice, as long as you are there with me, will bring me back."

  "And what if I can't?” Bliss wanted to know. She could feel the dread surrounding the question.

  "I believe you can."

  "But what if I can't?"

  "Then, my darling Bliss, I will be lost. I will die just like any other human would. And even that is better than being in hell with the likes of Belial."

  Caim stepped away from her and let his true self show. Wings burst from his back in glorious beauty spread against the wind that caressed and ruffled each feather. Bliss gasped as she remembered the feather she found in the hallway of the hospital. It was his! she thought, watching how the light reflected off the pure black wings of her fallen angel.

  "This is who I am. Can you accept me?” he asked. His eyes pleaded with her earnestly.

  "Oh God, Caim, this is so much to take in, such a big burden to put on my shoulders.” Bliss moaned and covered her face with her hands.

  Caim took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. She could feel herself falling into the jade green stare. “I collect souls for the Devil, Bliss. Demons like Belial get innocents to sign their most valuable possession away to Lucifer. They gave me this duty because they knew it would eat away at my own soul, watching humans go to eternal damnation for nothing more than trinkets. The few who sign it away for the love of family, well, those are the ones that destroy me. I saw you for the first time at Merry's summer fair, wearing those yellow shorts and the white shirt that had flower-shaped cutouts. You were laughing with your friend, and I was there to collect a soul."

  Caim smiled as he replayed the memory, and Bliss gasped because she knew exactly when he was talking about. He continued to speak almost wistfully. “I kept coming back to this town each time I could because of you. I watched you in the hospital and in your office when you cried over the children you worked on. I knew you were the one, Bliss. My heart fell for you even when you were outside twirling around as the leaves fell. I never saw anything so beautiful in a thousand years. Even if I was still an angel and I saw you in my journeys, I would have fallen just for you."

  No words could convey what Bliss felt at that moment. On top of a mountain, in the middle of a rain forest, listening to a fallen angel with a soul express his love for her. Belial was wrong. Caim was nothing like him. She would save him or give her last breath trying.

  "I'll catch you, Caim. When you fall, I'll be there.” Bliss held on to him tight and spoke in earnest, “You better fight, you hear me! You better fight because I will not lose you, not now."

  "I'll fight, my love, for you. I will battle every demon in hell just to be with you."

  "Won't they try to stop you, Belial and the other demons?” Bliss questioned.

  "I have no doubt they will, but I plan to be human and in your arms before they ever know.” Caim smiled and tweaked her nose.

  "Good, because I don't want to have to come to hell to find them and kick their asses for my boo,” Bliss said firmly.

  "You won't have to, sweetness.” Caim took her lips in a soft kiss that shook her to her core. This was love in its pure form.

  "When do we do this?” Bliss asked when the kiss ended.

  "Tomorrow, my love, on the final day of my one thousand years is when I fall."

  "Well, tomorrow, I will be there to love you for the rest of your human life. Until then, let's go home and make love as if there are no tomorrows,” Bliss let her lips trail down his neck.

  Caim wrapped her in the security of his arms, and she rested her head against his chest. He took them off the mountain and back to Merry with both their hearts filled with thoughts of the future.

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  Chapter Six

  They phased back into the warmth of her home, directly back to the living room where their journey had started. His lips were on hers as soon as their feet touched the carpet. Bliss kissed him in return, and she closed her eyes at the first contact of their lips. She didn't care if they were on top of a mountain or if they would tread on clouds, all that she could feel was Caim. His arms wrapped around her, and he took the kiss even deeper. Bliss felt his tongue graze her teeth before he slipped it into her mouth to taste her. She could drown in his kisses. She loved how he sipped at and teased her mouth. She pressed herself more intimately against him and felt the bulge of his arousal.

  A groan rumbled deep in his chest as she felt herself pressed against him, which let her know it affected him the same way. “Bliss, let us go to the bed before I lose whatever thoughts I have left, which are quite few right now."

  "No.” She nibbled his lips as she spoke. “Right here, right now."

  Caim groaned and devoured her mouth while his hand caressed her through the cotton material of her scrubs. It was a barrier to keep him from her full breasts. Yet, he filled his hands with the soft mounds and massaged them with a strong, firm motion. Her nipples beaded to hardness under his touch.

  "Yes, Caim, just like that, I love how your hands feel on me.” Bliss whispered the words and pushed herself more firmly into his palm.
His touch was something she craved.

  She pulled the shirt off in one smooth tug and flung it aside. Caim sank his hands into her hair. He pulled her back so he could bury his face into her chest and took her nipple into his mouth. He sucked and played with one before moving to the other to give it the same attention. Bliss held his head to her, and her head fell back in pleasure.

  "You taste so good, Bliss. I can never get enough of you,” Caim said against her skin.

  He took her lips again in a hot, hard kiss, which melted Bliss to the core. How can his lips make me this hot? she wondered vaguely in the back of her mind. She could feel her body react to him by the wetness that pooled between her thighs. Pressing herself against him, she tried to ease the ache he created. His groan of pleasure told her how much he approved of what she was doing. His hands traveled up the back of her neck, and he sank his fingers into her hair once again, holding her head while he feasted on her lips, swollen from his kisses. She took the lead from Caim and caressed his muscled chest. She pressed her body against him, letting her nipples touch the thatch of hair on his chest, and she gasped against his mouth as pleasure flowed through her. She rubbed against him like a sleek cat asking to be petted, enjoying the sensations of flesh touching flesh.

  She tore her lips way from his and trailed kisses and tiny licks down his body until she reached the waistband of his pants. With deft fingers, she unsnapped the clasp and undid each button with a torturous, slow movement while letting her fingers graze his hard cock through the material. Caim jerked in response to her touch, and a sexy smile crossed her lips.

  "I want to taste you. Can I, please?” Bliss asked with a sexy purr. She watched as he swallowed and only nodded. With his help, they got his pants and boots off the rest of the way, and he sat with his length hard and rigid. On her knees between his legs, Bliss leaned over, flicked out her tongue and licked the tip of his cock as if she was testing the flavor of him. She licked and kissed her way down and then back up his manhood while watching the pleasure cross his face and his hands clench and unclench against the cushions on the sofa. She took his hard cock in her mouth and slid her soft lips down and up with a gentle sucking motion.